Yesterday I was trying to get back into the swing of things after having been away for most of the previous week, and I was catching up with some computer work. Being a runner most of my life, I wanted to hear the results of the Boston Marathon and had a window open on my computer for a live coverage blog from Runner’s World. The coverage had ended for the elite runners, and I was just waiting to hear how my sister in law finished.
Then my husband called with the news of the explosions. His sister, who was running, was ¾ of a mile from the finish when the bombs went off. First in shock, I now cannot shake this terrible feeling of sadness and helplessness. News reports send me into tears. I wasn’t there, nor were any of my loved ones harmed, but many lives were shattered yesterday and my heart aches for them.
What do you say when you have no words? I’m heartbroken. I’m heartbroken for those who lost their lives or were injured. I’m heartbroken for an 8 year old innocent child who will never grow up. I’m heartbroken for those who saw the carnage and will never be able to erase those images from their minds. And I’m heartbroken for the fact that our children are growing up in a world where they can’t feel completely safe anywhere.
Not too long ago, I wrote a post about the “new normal.” The new normal that my children, and so many others, have grown up with. As a child, I never remember feeling apprehensive…I ran free, without a care in the world. Today our children are vilignant…they’re on alert. To watch for suspicious characters…people who shouldn’t be there…backbacks that are left with no owner in sight.
We were in Boston visiting friends when the events of 9/11 unfolded. My oldest son was just a toddler when he pointed to the tv and said “that plane just hit the building.” My heart aches that he saw that. Newtown is a neighboring town to us…we know many people there. One of the teachers who was killed did her student teaching at my children’s elementary school. My daughter has friends that attend schools there. Now of course, there have been many changes in school security as a result. My youngest son told me he doesn’t like having police officers at his school because it makes him feel like it could happen to them. And now this, once again, very close to home…with their beloved aunt less than a mile from the finish line.
The reality is I can’t protect my children from this. I cannot shield them. I can do my best to talk to them about these horrendous events when they take place, on a level that they can handle. For young children, that may mean turning off the television and sparing him the details that could be imprinted in their minds. For my children, who are older, it means talking about it, listening to their questions and giving them honest answers. But what I think is the important thing I can do as a parent, is teach them about the “helpers,” the wonderful people who showed bravery and compassion in the face of unspeakable evil. I can teach them empathy and kindness and a willingness to offer a helping hand. I can teach them that there is much more good in the world than evil. There were so many heroes yesterday…those that ran towards the blast and the carnage to help, rather than away. Those that carried people to safety. Those that opened up their homes to people that needed a place to stay. And many more.
Am I am nervous that we are no longer truly “safe” anywhere? Absolutely. But I refuse to let these tragedies dictate how we live our lives. We cannot predict what an evil person or group will do. But we can control what happens after. We can control how we react. We can control who we are. This is what we can teach our children. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” And that, in the end, I think will make us happy.
Andrea
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
In light of the "new normal" (that leaves a bad taste in my mouth) and the horrendous events that have become so common place, I think it's excellent that you've chosen to highlight how these events impact us all and how we can talk to our children about it all. Excellent post!
Michelle Nahom
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
I know, I hate saying that too. I hate the fact that these horrific events have become so commonplace. The best we can do is share the good, the heroes, those that help make a difference. Those are the stories I want my children to hear.
Kimberly H. Smith
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
Well said, Michelle. I had been dragging my feet on registering for a 5K run next month. This tragedy prompted me to sign up and pay the fee yesterday.
Michelle Nahom
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
Good for you! I won't let these horrific events dictate how I live my life either!
Tamara
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
I always focus on the helpers and heroes, because really, it's much more astounding than the evil. It shows more about humanity. I don't know that we're more or less safe than before, but I feel less safe than ever now that I have kids. And even without these two recent events, I would have had to learn how to explain it to my children. And I am scared for that day because it is surely coming with my older one. She's starting to pick up on things.
Michelle Nahom
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
It is a difficult thing to explain to kids. It saddens me that our children no longer feel safe. And the worst thing is, we have no way to shield them. But we can teach them about the heroes and all the good...we can teach them acts of kindness and how to make a difference. Right now, I feel like that's one of the best lessons I could share with them.
Bev
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
I too am heartbroken by what happened on Monday. I have watched the Boston Marathon numerous times, and it has always, until this year, but such a joyous occasion. I too try to focus on the helpers, and am truly awed by the bravery, generosity, and selflessness displayed by so many people.
I am glad to hear your sister-in-law and all your other loved ones are safe.
Michelle Nahom
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
So thankful for those heroes!! They are a wonderful reminder of all that is good in the world...those are the stories I want my children to hear!
Kim
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
The world is a frightening place sometimes. I am glad that those close to you are safe, Michelle. My heart is heavy for everyone involved in this tragedy.
Michelle Nahom
Wednesday 17th of April 2013
My heart is heavy as well. I find myself teary eyed often...the smallest thing can set me off. But the heroes are a reminder, together we can make a difference!