Skip to Content

Public vs Private School: Different Paths for Different Children

iStock_000007182960XSmallSometimes you have to let your kids find their own way and make difficult decisions for themselves.

My oldest son goes to a private high school. Neither my husband nor I went to private school so this was a new thing for us. We live within walking distance of the school he goes to, and he’s wanted to go there since elementary school. His decision was solidified by the fact that he is more comfortable in a smaller environment, and the fact that in the public school system he had teachers that couldn’t remember his name.

Two years in, he’s decided he wants to transfer. No, not back to the public school. To a different private school. This was not something my husband and I took lightly, because we help coach at the school he currently attends, and also because as I said before, it’s walking distance from our house. You may recall from another post that my husband and I told him if he wanted to apply, he had to do everything for the application himself, thinking he’d never get it done. But he surprised us, and did complete it all on his own. Then he hounded us to give him a date we could go on a campus tour and got himself excused from school for it. He also had to give each of his teachers at his current school forms to fill out for recommendations, which I am sure was not easy.

He’s doing fairly well academically at his current school, and he does like the school itself. But several of his closest friends from growing up attend the other school, and he’s never felt completely comfortable at his current school. High school years are supposed to be fun, and I want it to be that way for him. We did go visit the other school, and my gut tells me he is going to be happier there. It’s even smaller than his current school, all boys, and the school kind of reminds me of a ski lodge. It has that “homey” feel. I could tell just seeing him on campus that he was more comfortable. So he’s transferring. I signed the contract this morning. I think he’ll be happy there. But it wasn’t our decision…it was 100% his.

Next year we’ll have another child heading off to high school.  She went back and forth considering public vs private school and in the end decided that public was a better choice for her. I think it was probably the right decision. She’s very outgoing and social, and likes being around a lot of people. She doesn’t mind large class sizes. She’s excited about the challenging course load she’s signed up for. And the public school allows her the opportunity to focus on the sport she loves most and plays year round, where if she had gone to private school, she would have had to play a different sport each season. For her, I think it makes sense. She can always reconsider down the road, but I don’t think she will. I think she is going to be happy with the path she has chosen. Of course the schedule for public vs private school is completely different, so it runs havoc on family time. But in the end I think we need to make a decision based on what is right for our children and their needs…we can always make up spring break with family time in the summer!

 

Sharing is caring!

Leah Elizabeth Locklear

Thursday 5th of September 2013

Great read! I have awhile before making the choice between private and public! I went to a private school in pre-k but otherwise I grew up in the public school system! My son's father on the other hand went to private school up until highschool, him going to a private school certainly had it's advantages! He was way ahead of the students in the public school system, and of course had more opportunity for one on one time! I have to agree with you in the end whatever is in the best interest of my son will be what route we go with! Afterall it's his world I am just living in it! ha~ Leah~

Michelle Nahom

Thursday 5th of September 2013

The one child that is in private school is thriving there...my other two are doing equally well in public school. The school vacations throw us for a loop since they are different but other than that, we've been quite happy!

Daina Makinson

Friday 19th of April 2013

You're such a good Mom Michelle. And your children seem so grounded...and enterprising! That's a reflection on their parents:)

Michelle Nahom

Friday 19th of April 2013

That's a laugh! Thanks Daina, you just made my day! You might have a different opinion when you see my next post...hehehe. They're good kids...we do have our moments though!

Nellie

Friday 19th of April 2013

As a person who did both, I am happy you are letting your children decide where they want to go. The transitions for me were pretty hard but I got over it eventually (I also didn't have a choice in the matter) :) Hope everything goes well for the kiddos!

Michelle Nahom

Friday 19th of April 2013

The first school wasn't a tough transition because it was new for everyone...the one he is transferring to I think will be fine as well, because he has some very good friends there. But for him, it was always about the small class size...that was really what he wanted. He wrote on his original entrance essays that he wanted to have classes where the teachers knew his name. I'm glad its worked out the way it has!

Ilene

Friday 19th of April 2013

I know families here where one child goes to private and another to public. I think it's great that you look at the individual needs of your kids and decide that way.

Michelle Nahom

Friday 19th of April 2013

It wasn't even in my thought process until he told us he wanted to go to private school, but I am really glad he did. It was the right thing for him. It sounds like his younger brother wants to do the same now!

Mothering From Scratch

Thursday 18th of April 2013

{Melinda} Michelle, I SO get this!! My son (7th grade) is at Christian school and loves it. He likes the small environment and thrives there. My daughter went to the same school until 5th grade and was miserable. After much thought, discussion and prayer, we allowed her to go to public school in 6th grade. It has not been an easy road there, but I really think she would have withered at the Christian school. It was not a good fit at all. She's also very social, loves being around people, is very strong-willed and she just felt like a fish out of water at the private school.

I hope the transition goes well for your son! Sounds like he made the right choice. :)

Michelle Nahom

Friday 19th of April 2013

It's so important that they're in their comfort zone with school. Two school schedules is tough, but nowhere near as hard as it would be to have a miserable kid. Sounds like its working well for you too!